Whew… That was quite a moment! Okaaaay, I’ve been in my feels the last few weeks, as my previous posts have clearly shown.

But um, that little phase is over now. Fuck that. I’m not loyal? Bullshit, but that’s fine. He’s entitled to his opinion and feelings on everything. I know I wasn’t a walk in the park some of the time, but a lot of what he said was just utter trash.

Is this situation, friendship, whatever this is… worth saving? Of course, our motto is “in whatever capacity”. However, I’m not in the mood to reach out. If that means we don’t talk for months, then I guess we don’t talk for months. This isn’t revenge or pettiness, he hit the reset button on us. Those were his words. I’m available if he really needs me, I’m not disappearing on him. I’m sure he feels like I have though. Or maybe he’s not giving me a second thought. He may be upset but so am I, so maybe this little break is good for us.

In any case, I need to not dwell on it and I need to not let it hamper me. God will work it out. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

Perhaps A New Project?

I think I’m going to start writing a story, well attempting to write a story. I have begun so many and scrapped them but I can never publish a book if I don’t actually write one. I think out of everything I’ve ever wanted to do in my life, writing a book still remains my number one wish.

I may completely suck at it, but feedback over the years have led me to believe that I may not. I remember writing a “What I did over the summer” essay and the teacher was so impressed by how descriptive I was. He said he felt like he was right there as it was happening. I wrote scripts for plays and scenes for class projects. I wrote and directed a video for English class. I just need to put myself out there more, but damn it makes me want to puke lol.

I did promise myself at the beginning of the year that I would do things that made me happy. That I would put myself out there more and not let myself get in the way.

So here we go!