It’s been quite a month, I’ve felt M’s presence like I always do. It’s been just as strong and I’ve asked God so many times.. why? Why do I still feel a deep connection? Well… because God had plans to keep him in my life. Yeah.. it’s back on lol.

As frustrating, stressful and heartbreaking as this relationship has been over the years, I have to say, it’s been the most satisfying and fulfilling. Oh I know, how can that possibly be. I’ve had some pretty great relationships but this one, this one is just the one that makes me feel complete. He has access to a part of me that no one else ever has. He unlocked it and took up residence and has owned it completely. My love for him is just pure love, and I am so grateful God answered my prayers, I will not waste this. We had a really good talk about things, he was appalled more than anything by my behavior but forgives me and is no longer angry. He has reassured me that the future he laid out for us is still want he wants. He has reassured me of my place in his life and I will not waste this chance God and him have given me.

He is just everything to me

We had 3 phone calls today and all went swimmingly well. No fights, no lectures, just fun, laughter and great communication. This was a great weekend, really looking forward to the coming months

As far as everything else, I decided I was going to go off keto for the holidays, not go crazy but just eat what I want in moderation. So far, I really haven’t indulged. I had one piece of pie with whipped cream, a donut and some bread. With Christmas coming up and plenty of baking going on around me, I’m sure I’ll give in a little more, but not stressing it. That’s what I love about being Keto, it’s such a forgiving way of eating. It really has been the best way for me and I’m still losing inches not pounds but again, I’m cool with that. Losing weight has given me that confidence I was needing but it’s not about that. Just knowing I’m taking care of myself, for me makes it worthwhile.