It’s definitely been a month. M contacted me a few weeks ago and we quickly got back together.

Trust me… I know. But in the 5 months since we’d spoken, he had gone through a change as well. A very long story short, I’ve spent the last 3 weeks being on the phone constantly with him. Literally, day and night with very few breaks. When we did break for an hour or so, he always said he hated leaving me. M had been taking care of his dying mom for over a year and just over a week now, she passed on. Many, many hours of talking and praying. Some laughter and a ton of serious talks.

At one point, he said he’d probably never be in love with me.. just one step before that. I understood and was very surprised at how he admitted it. Expressing emotions, or rather allowing himself to feel them has never been easy. After his moms death, he said he felt like he had fallen in love and that we were family now. He didn’t need a piece of paper to consider me his wife. We always had a bond but things have shifted immensely. He says he can never thank me enough for taking care of him and holding his hand through this.

We’ve been so back and forth, up and down. This blog has been a testament to that. I’ve said before I thought things would happen.. but the universe is saying, it’s happening now. I mean, he has never referred to me as baby/babes but does at every turn. He has been beyond attentive, loving and caring. This whole experience has forever changed him. I don’t love what he had to go through and if it meant having his mom back I’d give up all the time and all the things we’ve said to each other.

We’ve always had plans to relocate me, I never fully trusted in them. But now? It seems so concrete. There is zero doubt in my heart and my mind. In the meantime, he started a new job and is actually in training this week. He and his son have a new apartment and things are slowly improving. We are so blessed and thankful for all the good and bad times.

It feels like we’ve unlocked another level to us and if things for some reason don’t work out, I don’t think we’ll ever backslide. Meaning all the progress, love and truths admitted will never cease. It’ll be God who has pushed us apart. And we’ll wait patiently, learn our lessons so that we can reunite again. There was absolutely a moment when I thought, this is just grief. This is just an overflow of emotion. But he has been consistent in his words and actions.

I’ve heard this man break down and cry. I’ve heard him as he sat with his mom, sounding like a scared little boy. He allowed me to be present for all of that, and I’m the only one who got to see him that way. I’m grateful that God gave me the strength that I needed. I’m grateful that God gave me the wisdom I needed. It was draining but it felt good to be able to just be there for him. He mentioned at one point that he had undervalued and underappreciated me. He said he’d never make that mistake again.

In all honesty, I love him and I would have sat there, giving advice and listening even if he never said any of those words. This definitely brought us closer but once again, what a price that had to be paid.

Some other things have happened, nothing horrible but very interesting. I’ll save that for the next post.