It’s a hard pill to swallow, thinking that someone else will swoop in and walk with that person to the finish line. Thinking about all the conversations, advice, being woken up to talk with them is now meaningless. This new person, gets all the glory. They get the acknowledgment, the recognition, all the rewards of being that person who “got me through it all”.

That’s ego talking though, it doesn’t matter how someone reaches their full potential. It doesn’t matter who helped them along the way as long as they get to the point that they can be content with themselves. Maybe just being a blip on the map is enough. Maybe that was the purpose you served and you should be grateful that you were given that task. Food for thought I suppose.

My ancestry DNA kit came yesterday, and it’s now on its way back to them. I also consented to having my DNA matched so maybe I’ll connect to someone. I’m not looking to have a relationship with family members, it would be extremely amazing if that happened. All I’m looking for is to know who I am at the core and where I come from. I’ll be able to give my sons some background, that’ll be enough for me.

Was up early and did a load of laundry. Even folded and put it away immediately. Shocking. Showered then tried meditating but couldn’t clear my mind. Had a Walmart grocery delivery around 8am and it was kind of a shit show. Never have issues and I’m not mad about it. Was annoyed but that quickly dissipated. It’s so nice to let minor inconveniences go. I’m blessed to be able to buy groceries and have the option of delivery.

So, productive start to the day. I really need to get some graphics done and tidy up. I’m keeping on top of my room, very proud of myself. I’ll watch some YouTube first.. I’m into power washing vids at the moment, lol.

Though, I’m thinking… I haven’t watched Empire Records in awhile.