So M called last night while I was sleeping. I didn’t call because it was late when I woke up and I was upset. I texted him just a bit ago and he told me to get better soon. I guess that’s that. Still blows my mind he never attempted to see how I was last week. I really feel like I don’t matter.

I’ve had time to think about what I’ve been upset about, and it’s obviously not all his fault. I just want to be with him, I’m so tired of long distance. 98% of the problems that we have we wouldn’t if we were together.

I do love him and I still feel like we have an amazing future together. However we define it, I know we can be happy. As far as what I wrote in my past posts I think I’m just going to take them down (Edit: they were privated but have since been made public again) It’s just not fair to him and I was just venting. But I still think not replying to my texts and emails and not getting a hold of me before yesterday is kind of lame. Still feel like there’s something off but if I’m not going to talk about it with him, I really shouldn’t be venting about it elsewhere.

And I will talk to him, it’s just easier for me to get all that hostility out before I do, so as soon as I feel better I’ll bring things up. Not in a dramatic way, we definitely don’t need that. Still praying for him, still hoping that everything turns around for him. I miss him.