Early start this morning, really really early. I feel another shift, a pretty decent one. Nothing negative so that’s something. Did a mini workout and started on some work, food prepped and I’m feeling pretty ok today. A friend left a message telling me about a video they watched and I was a bit surprised. I assumed they were just sharing something they found interesting with me. Turns out, they knew of my interest in it and really wanted me to see it.

It made me stop. I don’t think anyone pays much attention to me, so it’s fascinating the things they do pick up.

So the oldest got his first apartment and I am so proud and excited for him. His living situation has been great but not what he wanted long term. I messaged him the other day and I hadn’t heard back from him, I am definitely one of those mothers that if my kid doesn’t respond to me immediately, he’s dead, obviously. Well he got back to me eventually, and said that he was getting burnt out with work so he met with a recruiter. I don’t want to discourage him, because I know this is what he wants and it would be a great experience for him. I just don’t feel great about it, I will however support him in everything he decides to do.

The youngest has been calling pretty much every day, his senior picture day is today. His fucking senior picture. I can’t believe it, it sounds so cliche but I can’t believe how fast this is gone. They want to get him a car, they asked if I can help. Maybe in a few months after saving but not now. As always, it’s now or never with them. While Im not mad, it just shows how they favor him. They would never help the oldest, mainly because he’s more mine and the youngest is more theirs. That’s how they see it anyway.

Eager to get back into my volunteering, I think that’s the best thing for me right now. My kids are doing well and that’s all that matters, everything else is in Gods hands. He’s telling me to stay the course, so I suppose I will.