Well, at least this year is ending with just as much frustration and confusion as it started with. All in all, it was a great year. I think I did a fair amount of self improvement, I certainly feel like I’ve turned a corner on a few things.

Been trying to get better, but everyone around me is sick. Someone went to the ER on Christmas and was admitted. This seems a little harder to shake but I’m ok with that. Plenty of rest and medicine, even though I really hate taking it. I’d rather just sleep it off.

Mild annoyance with M who’s been pretty much ignoring me for the past month and especially since I’ve been sick. I don’t get it.. starts a few convos but then just disappears for days/weeks. Of course I get snarky messages which I reply to and they’re gone again. Ugh… People.

Looks like some changes happening very soon and I’m sad about it but it’s ok. It’s a good thing and I’m totally on board with it. That sounds cryptic but it’s still a matter of when so I’m not thinking about it much.

I’m currently doing laundry at 3:40am and starting to feel like shit again..I just wanted to get some thoughts down

Annnnd.. it’s the next day, I think? Brain is a bit foggy, really wish I could shake this faster. Probably getting back on keto is the best thing. I’ve definitely enjoyed the holiday food but I’m ready to go back. Lots of IF and smoothies at first, then keto all the way.

It’s been a bit of drama the last couple days, we decided to call CPS on someone. Mainly because a child’s life was threatened and the mom stays with the man. It would be easy to feel sorry for her, but I’ve known her for years, I’ve shared a home with her. Unfortunately, this is her doing. She painted herself into a corner, thinking she could play her games as usual and found someone who really can make her life hell. Shes been in abusive relationships before but this takes the cake. Living motel to motel, with 2 young kids. Another kid living with grandparents and the oldest doesn’t want anything to do with her. Now she’s back living with the abusive boyfriend and his mom.. she’s burned every bridge.

Now, we decided that this is the right course of action and it sucks. I’ve been in the system and as far as I know, it was fine. I remember my foster family and when I think about them, all I feel is love. We can only hope and pray this gives her the kick in the ass so she can get them back. If they’re taken, we’re pretty sure they will be… if she’s not able to do it then hopefully things turn out well.

Come on 2020, you’ve promised so much… can YOU at least follow through??