I’ve been able to push the past year to a corner of my mind.

I didn’t ask the question I needed to because I didn’t want to hear the lie and I didn’t want to hear the truth

I allowed the situation to unfold and I allowed myself the denial

But there are days, like today…

When I feel so angry, so hurt, so taken advantage of. I feel like such a fool and question obsessively about what I did that was so terrible that I deserved that level of a mind fuck. What the fuck did I do, to deserve a year long elaborate lie?? Or did he just decide to go back and forget about me again

I feel M. I miss him sure, but I feel him. I feel his presence like I use to. I never understood why I do, he’s not dead, but there are just moments when I feel a tug and he’s right here with me